


Butters Bags Cartman

by ButterBalls1215



Series: South Park Gays Universe [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, First Time, Getting Together, M/M, Underage Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-09 09:58:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16447679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterBalls1215/pseuds/ButterBalls1215
Summary: The story in which Butters finally get’s his dream boat Eric Cartman.





	1. The Problem

Butters Stotch had always had a crush on Eric Cartman. Even through the years of taunting and distraught Eric put him through, Butters always felt a fluttering in his chest and his cheeks heating up when Eric treated him somewhat nicely. It was almost a curse, having feelings for someone who tortured him on a daily basis. Sure, the harassment Butters used to endure had died down into more of a teasing nature between friends, but Butters still wished deep down that Eric one day would come to a realization that Butters was the one for him.

Butters normally didn’t let his feelings for Cartman become an issue. Sure, most of his friends knew, Kenny teasing him about it all the time, and Kyle and Stan at times offering Butters advice on the situation (though Kyle mostly just tried to convince Butters what a terrible person Cartman was). Butters knew Cartman knew about his little crush, but probably not to the extent of the fact Butters roleplayed with his Barbie’s and G.I. Joe’s about their relationship and wrote Eric’s name with little hearts in his notebook at home. It wasn’t until Heidi Turner arrived that Butters really let his feelings get the best of him.

“It won’t last.” Stan said as he and Butters walked to their lockers one day after school. Butters was fuming about Heidi and Cartman’s relationship again, knowing he could confide in Stan after all the times he’s kept (tried) secrets about Stan’s feelings for Kyle.

“I just can’t stand it Stan! What’s so special about her?”

Stan huffed “Butters have you ever stopped to think maybe Cartman may never have feelings for you? He’s never really openly said he’s gay.”

“Because I just know!”

Stan rolled his eyes but continued to attempt to comfort Butters the rest of the way to their lockers and to the bus stop, where Butters watched as Stan ran up to kiss Kyle on the cheek and link hands. Lucky Bastards.

Butters hatred for Heidi continued on as her and Cartman’s relationship continued. He could not get over how much Eric seemed to like her, after years of not showing much interest in any real long-term commitment. The matching shirts, the holding hands, it made Butters want to puke and smack Heidi across the face at the same time.

It wasn’t until Cartman asked him for advice about his relationship with Heidi to Butters than Butters finally felt a shift in power. For once Eric came to him instead of one of the others, obviously knowing Kenny, Kyle, and Stan would tease him about his issues. But Butters always was someone Eric could trust, even with his darkest and most embarrassing secrets.

“Butters I just don’t know what to do you know, one minute she was this great girl and now I’m physically scared of her! What the hell happened?”

Butters hummed as he listened to Eric’s predicament. As much as Butters hated Heidi at the moment, he still felt like he needed to be the better person here. After all, he was raised to be a good person, not to sabotage somebody else’s relationship just because of the small possibility it might bring him love instead.

“Eric, do you really want to break up with Heidi?”

“I don’t know! That’s why I’m here Butters!” Eric whined.

“Well, maybe that’s why you don’t want to break up with her. If you can’t decide yourself, maybe that means there isn’t a real reason to break up with her.”

Eric sighed “Thanks Butters.” He said before leaving the room, probably to go see Heidi. Butters sighed but turned back to his computer.

In the end however, Eric did break things off with Heidi, leaving Butters feeling proud that he did not encourage the break up, but that Eric realized on his own that she wasn’t for him. Now he just needed to realize Butters was the real boy of his dreams. Butters was finally ready to bag Eric Cartman.


	2. Insomnia

Butters often had nightmares and insomnia. It felt it came from his parents constant confusing relationship with him. One minute his parents were screaming and crying about his attempts to commit suicide, and the next he’s being grounded or sent to straight camp to cure his bi-curiosum. It could also stem from the issue he had with his own self, the way everyone treated him. Butters always sort of felt like an outcast and like nobody really would notice if he was gone, like he really didn’t bring much to the world.

Butters stared over at the clock and sighed. It was already midnight and he had to be up by 6:30 at the latest. He rolled over on his side and faced his bedroom door and tried his hardest to keep his mind from keeping him up all night again. He finally started to settle in and feel like he was getting drowsy, when suddenly he heard a tap at the window.

“Butters!”

Butters sat up and looked over at the window to see Eric staring in at him.

“Eric?”

“Let me in dammit!”

Butters jumped out of bed and trotted over to the window and let Cartman in. Cartman brushed himself off and Butter stared confused.

“What uh, are you doing up so late?”

“Oh. I couldn’t sleep. I know you’re always saying you never sleep. It was either bother you or listen to my mom and her lovely visitor.”

“Oh gee.” Butters responded.

Eric nodded. “You obviously don’t mind if I crash here do you?”

“Course not!” Butters replied with a smile, leading Eric over to his bed.

“Great. I’ll sneak out in the morning so your fag hating parents don’t start bugging you again.”

Butters smiled. He liked that Eric was critical of his parent’s treatment of him. It made him realize that it wasn’t just him who thought they could be a little easier on their only son.

Eric did sneak out in the morning, but not before thanking Butters for letting him stay. Butters hadn’t slept so great in months. And that’s when Butters got brave.

The next night Butters snuck out and went over to Eric’s. Eric’s mother easily let him in and pointed upstairs to where Eric was in his room. When Butters entered Eric’s room he realized the latter was already sleeping, but still Butters stripped off his coat in crawled into bed next to Eric. Eric stirred and muttered something at Butters but did not protest or shove Butters out of bed when he curled up beside him and closed his eyes.

The trend continued on after that. Butters more or less snuck into Cartman’s room every few nights, until those few nights turned into almost every night. He slept better this way and Cartman never protested. His mother never questioned anything except asking Butter’s if he wanted Breakfast when he attempted to sneak out every morning before heading home. Cartman never told any of the other guys about his and Butters sleep overs, and Butters never told anyone about the few recent nights when Eric put his arm around Butters during the night, helping fuel Butters little fantasy even more.


	3. Eric Cartman's Shitty Epiphany

The night everything changed was an adventure of its own. 

After one of Cartman’s stupid plans lead the five boys into their normal trouble, things cleared up as Kenny saved the day. As the boys recovered and the police were left to clean up the mess, Butters found himself noticing Eric starring at him a bit more than usual. He wondered if he still had blood on his upper lip. 

Kyle and Stan walked off to go call Kyle’s dad for a ride, and Kenny went to go pee in a bush, leaving Cartman and Butters standing at the side of the ride under a light post. Eric continued to glance at Butters and Butters continued to wonder why Eric suddenly wouldn’t take his eyes off of him.

“Do I have something on my face?” Butters asked, turning to Eric who suddenly was looking away.

“You don’t like Kenny, do you?” Eric interrupted him. Butters blinked confused.

“No? Not more than friends anyway-“

Butters was cut off by Eric, grabbing his face between his hands and kissing him, deep and passionate and everything Butters had ever jerked off to. It was the most perfect, hottest kiss possible, all of Butters pent of emotions and feelings for Eric spilling out. Eric pushed Butters into the light post behind them and continued to devour his mouth. They kissed passionately until Eric heard the sound of footsteps and pulled back, brushing off his mouth and standing a far distance from Butters, who stood their stunned and confused. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Kyle asked as they approached, seeing Butters looking like a deer in the headlights.

Eric shrugged, and Stan rolled his eyes.

“He probably thinks he saw another alien. Relax Butters.”

Butters rubbed the back of his neck and laughed nervously but did not say another word until he was getting out of Kyle’s dad’s car at his house, saying good night to his friends and spending the first night alone he had in awhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I the only one who thinks Stan is more of a bottom than Kyle? Is that just me?


	4. Kenny Fucking McCormick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up way longer than I had expected it to be but hey, people love little hoe Kenny anyways!

The first time Eric Cartman felt something for Butters Stotch, he drank a full beer from Kenny’s fridge and threw up on the cold, brisk sidewalk as he waited for his mother to pick him up. He pretended the feelings he had just discovered was just a mistake. He had mistaken Butters for Bebe, that obviously had to be it.  
It wasn’t it.

Cartman continued to ignore every feeling he may or may not have been having for Butters. Every time his chest felt funny and his stomach twisted at the mention of Butters name, just an odd coincidence.

It wasn’t until the day Kenny discovered Cartman’s feelings that Cartman had to face the truth. Kenny knew that Butters wanted Cartman, and now he discovered Cartman was falling for Butters, it was time for him to have his fun.

“You know if I could nail any dude from our school, it would definitely be Butters.”

“Excuse me?” Cartman barked out after Kenny remark. Kenny Cartman, and Stan were sitting on Kenny’s bedroom floor passing around a bong, waiting for Kyle to get there as he had to ensure Ike got home safe first. Kenny had come to a realisation earlier that day that Cartman was fighting his feelings for Butters, with blatantly staring at Butters when Wendy was trying to ask him to go to the movies giving it away pretty clearly. Cartman’s not so smooth recovery also made it quite obvious too.

“What? Stan asked if I had to pick a dude who would I pick. I’m just answering the question.”

“Why the hell would you have any interest in Butters?” Cartman countered, obviously flustered by the fact that Kenny may have feelings for Butters. Not like he cared or anything. He hated Butters. So much.

“What? He’s got a nice ass. And I’m sure he’d be really nice and-“

“Shut the fuck up!” Cartman shouted, standing up from his place on the ground.

“What’s your problem dude?” Stan questioned, confused with Cartman’s sudden rage for someone wanting to bang Butters.

“It’s because-“

“You shut up Kenny!” Cartman shouted again. Kenny knew. He fucking knew. The bastard probably caught him and Butters talking about their weekend plans or some shit. Cartman needs to stop talking to the dumbass at school dammit.

Cartman began to pace around the room angerly, Kenny smirking and Stan staring up at him confused. After a moment Cartman growled angerly, again trying to supress his feelings for Butters, and out of rage and impulsiveness, he turned to Kenny’s bedroom window, balls up his fist, and punches right through the glass.

“Oh my god Cartman! What the hell?” Stan shouted, placing the bong down and standing up to pull Cartman away from the window.

“Gee thanks Cartman, I really needed a draft in my room.”

“Fuck you Kenny!” Cartman shouted as Stan pressed a shirt to Cartman’s cut hand that he found on the floor.

“What the hell is your problem Cartman?” Stan repeats, angrier this time.

“He has feelings for Butters and he can’t handle just the thought of actually falling for the little brat.”

“I swear to god Kenny!” Cartman shouted again. Suddenly he pushed Stan away, dropped the shirt and tore out of the room, leaving Stan stunned and Kenny still pissed he had a broken window.

As Cartman dashed out, he passed Kyle, just coming in the house. Kyle attempted to say something to him as he passed by, but Cartman grunted in response and continued out the door.

That night, Cartman stayed up and waited for Butters, and when he arrived he asked Butters if he wanted to play a game first before bed. Butters seemed confused, but still crawled into Eric’s bed, laid his head on Eric’s shoulder, and watched him play his Gameboy. Eric offered him a turn, but Butters refused, yawned and continued to snuggle into Eric’s side like he was a big teddy bear. Eric eventually shut off the device, however, before he could lie down to go to sleep, he was shocked when Butters planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. When he pulled away he was blushing furiously and turned around wordlessly and lied down as if he was just going to fall asleep on queue. Eric honestly didn’t know how to respond. What had his life come to?

It was Monday at school that things really went down. Obviously over the weekend Kenny had told Stan and Kyle about Cartman’s feelings for Butters, and the two bothered Cartman endlessly through the day for more details on the development. It wasn’t until the end of the day that things blew up, when in the gym after a pep rally, when all the students were slowly exiting the gym, and Kenny turned to Butters to ask him a question, surrounded by their friends and classmates.

“Butters, you and I should hang out sometime.”

Butters paused. Everyone paused. Everyone waited and watched for Butters response. Did Kenny McKormick really just ask out Butter? 

“Holy shit dude what is he thinking?” Stan whispered frantically to Kyle as the two looked over to where Cartman was standing with Token. Stan could see their friend balling up his fists furiously again.

“Um…” Butters stuttered out, unsure how to react to the development.

“Fuck you Kenny! I told you to leave him the fuck alone!” Cartman shouted, charging over to the pair, only to be held back by Token and Clyde.

Kenny smirked but before he could announce to the whole class Cartman’s little secret, he was pulled back by Kyle and Stan.

“What the fuck guys?” He asked looking back at them, then back to Butters, who was no longer standing in shock, now leaving the gym with Cartman. He smirked in satisfaction. Maybe now the two idiots would talk.


	5. What is this?

They didn’t talk. 

They went back to Butter’s and made out on the couch until Butter’s heard his mother’s car pull up. He shoved Eric off and the two pretended they had been playing video games the whole time. They didn’t talk about it again.

They kissed again, after Butters decided to punch (more like lightly tap) Wendy in the chest after she told all the girls she was going to kiss Cartman after school that Friday. Butters, who was standing next to Esther in the circle of girls at recess, heard the whole thing, and angrily confronted Wendy, pretending it was due to her using all the boys at school, and punched her. Cartman instantly pulled him away as Wendy shouted at them that Butters just wants Cartman to fuck him. The two ended up kissing in Cartman’s room after school, but it ended shortly when Clyde showed up at Cartman’s door, looking for him for a game.

Things continued to escalate from there. Kissing at night when Butters snuck into Cartman’s room, sneaking kisses when walking home from the bus stop. Any time they were alone, Butters was attached to Cartman by the lips. 

It didn’t take long for things to escalate more from there. Cartman decides to sneak some pot home that Kenny gave him as an ‘apology’. He’s getting high in the closet, trying to keep it quiet from his mother and keep the smell confided, when he hears the bedroom door open and Butters bubbly voice enter the room.

“Eric? I thought we were going to study?”

Study was what Butters kept calling their little make out sessions because neither boy was still acknowledging what this was, and neither was about to either. 

Butters found Eric in the closet, and before he knew it he was sitting on the floor getting instructed by Eric how to use a bong. He knew this stuff was terrible for you, but Eric made it look so fun. Butters didn’t feel peer pressured per say, but watching Eric get high was hot, and when Eric taught him how to shotgun he was in heaven. The two got blazed out of their trees, and eventually ended up making out heavily. It was Butters who took things further, shoving his hand down Eric’s pants and jerking him off. The two ended up grinding together until they both came, and Butters couldn’t believe what had just happened after.

That wasn’t the last time the two exchanged hand jobs after that, and soon it led to Butters crawling under the sheets one night when his parents were out for supper late, and Eric just happened to be there and happily let Butters go down on him. They cleaned up just barley before Butters father’s voice rang through the house, and Butters has never seen anyone run faster than he saw Cartman after he climbed out the window.

Butters hadn’t told anyone about his and Eric’s sexual exchanges. He assumed Eric hadn’t either. He still didn’t know what they were. He obviously wanted to be his boyfriend, would give anything to hold Eric’s hand for an hour, even if it meant Eric yelling at him the whole time about how much he hated the whole thing. Butters wanted to be Eric’s real boyfriend.

He may have been getting greedy. He should just be happy with what he’s gotten. Hell, most people who fantasize about their dream guy don’t get that guy, so Butters should be happy enough that he got his kiss from him. Not everyone was Tweek and Craig, and nobody was as lucky as Stan and Kyle.

That didn’t stop Butters from wanting more.


	6. A Kiss with a Fist

Butters was walking home from school alone that day. Eric had to go home as his mother needed him for something, and Kyle, Stan, and Kenny were playing basketball. Butters was a little down anyways today, and kind of hoped to be alone. See him and Eric weren’t really talking, Eric had noticed Butters was upset, Butters lashed out, shouting “It’s not like you actually care Eric!”, which he didn’t mean, but he was just so frustrated lately with his stupid fantasy and the reality of his and Eric’s relationship. Eric hadn’t really talked to him since his outburst this morning, and Butters didn’t blame him. He was probably already trying to think of a way to break things off with Butters anyways. 

As Butters continued his path home he suddenly noticed how dark it was around him, then, turning around, realized why.

Seniors from school. The same ones who constantly called him faggot in the hallways. Butters normally didn’t care, used to similar taunts by his friends, but now was feeling quite intimidated with no one around.

“Um… hey fellas.” Butters stuttered out. 

That was the last thing Butters said before the thumped his ass to the ground. Butters had felt pain before, but defiantly not like this. Before he could get up, the bullies were gone, leaving Butters lying on the ground, bruised and broken.

His mother asked him what happened, and of course his father threatened to ground him for fighting. He was pretty sure he had bruised Ribs, not to mention the black eye and the fat lip. After supper and being ridiculed by his parents for not being more careful, Butters headed up to bed for an early slumber. His mother offered to take him to the doctor tomorrow, but that didn’t help the pain he was in tonight.

Shortly after Butters dozed off he was awoken by the sound of his name being whispered. He rolled over, whipping his eyes, to see Eric standing over his bed.

“Jesus, Eric.” Butters whined, sliding over on the bed to make room for his friend.

Eric rubbed the back of his neck subconsciously, “I’m uh… Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Maybe you could tell me since apparently don’t care about you.” Eric countered

Butters sighed “It’s not that Eric,” he paused, pulling himself to sit up and whining when his ribs began to twinge in pain.

“What’s wrong with you?” Eric suddenly asked, looking angry but concerned. Butters bit his lip but didn’t respond. “What the hell happened to you?” Eric asked again

Butters pulled up his shirt in response, showing Eric the black and blue bruises on his side. 

“Who the hell did this to you Butters?

“I didn’t ask for their names as they were kicking me in the side Eric!” Butters replied, turning to turn on his bed side lamp. Eric’s face shifted to more anger when he saw the dark bruise forming around Butters eye as well.

“I swear the fucking god someone is going to pay.”

“Eric don’t!” Butters exclaimed. He didn’t need a repeat of Tenorman’s.

“No. These fuckers hurt you, they are gonna pay.” Eric responded, grabbing Butters hand and pulling him from the bed and towards the window which he had came through.

“Eric you don’t even know their names! How are we going to find where they live?”

“You obviously don’t know me as well as you thought Butters.”

And he was right, because 30 minutes later Eric was pointing at the boy in question who led the gang of boys who beat Butters up. Eric pushed Butters back and marched over towards the boy.

Eric hadn’t changed much from when he was 10 years old, which is why it surprised Butters when Eric ran up behind the boy and socked him in the back of the head hard enough to knock him down. Eric continued to beat into the teenager, until he was blacker and bluer than Butters was. Once the boy was lying face first on the ground, Eric walked up and pulled him up enough to whisper in his ear.

“You and your friends ever touch my fucking Butters again and I will kill everyone you have ever cared about. Every single person you’ve ever thought to be someone you were close to, dead. Don’t even fucking look at him. Don’t even think about him! I will not repeat myself. Got it?”

The boy nodded best he could, and Eric dropped his head back to the ground, walked over to Butters and grabbed his hand, pulling him away and back to Eric’s house.

Things were frantic back at Eric’s close shed and heavy, passionate kisses. Butters let Eric fuck him for the first time and he couldn’t believe it. Eric did care. Eric did love him.

“You and Cartman fucked!” Stanned exclaimed the next day at lunch. Butters blushed and nodded. He couldn’t help it. He and Eric made love. And Eric defended his honour like a real man.

“It all just happened really fast! I just can’t believe he did that for me!” Butters replied with a smile.

“Dude he almost killed someone!” Stan countered

“For my honour!”

“Dear god, you are meant to be.” Stan muttered under his breath. He just couldn’t believe Butters and Cartman went all the way before he and Kyle did. Butters maybe, but Cartman! Fuck his life man.

That evening Butters went over to Cartman’s after school and the two played video games while Ms. Cartman made them supper. Eric made sure to let Butters sit as close as physically possible while they played, which Butters obviously was ecstatic about. There was just one thing…

“Eric? Are we dating?”

“What the fuck did you think was going on Butters. Jesus you really do need to leave the house more.” 

Butters couldn’t contain the smile plastered on his face. He leaned over and kissed Eric on the cheek and then lied his head on Eric shoulder as they continued to play. He couldn’t help but notice the blush on Eric’s cheeks as well.


	7. The Stotches

Butters and Eric’s relationship continued to grow and blossom from there. Eric began to hold Butters hand at school, walk him to class and to his locker, let Butters plant kisses all over his cheeks whenever he wanted. Not to mention the two were littered in hickey’s half the time. Butters normally had to wear a scarf at home, but it was worth it.

See Butters still hadn’t told his parents the truth about him and Eric. Anytime his parents caught him spending the night there, Butters said it was because they were up late studying, which his dad always assumed meant doing drugs or partying, and usually laid into Butters about better behaviour after. Butters was honestly scared to tell them, he knew his father was strongly against being gay, and his mother not a fan either. Eric told him to not care what they thought, because they were douche bags to him anyways, but Butters just had a hard time not worrying about his parent’s reaction.

One night later than week Butters told his parents he was spending the night at Cartman’s for a sleep over. The two had already had sex, and no were recuperating and playing video games in Eric’s bed. Butters was in heaven, Eric’s arm around him, wear his shirt. He wasn’t even thinking about the fact he left his pain medication at home, or the fact his mother would probably notice and bring it by.

“Oh hello Mrs. Stotch!”

Butters and Eric continued to laugh and screw around in game. Butters loved playing video games with Eric since he wasn’t much better than Butters. Butters was never as good as the other boys at games, so it was nice to play with Eric instead of Stan and Kyle for once.

Butters, still not paying attention, leaned his head onto Eric’s shoulder. Linda and Liane continued up the stairs.

“I left his medication out on the table, so he would remember it, but low and behold here we are.” Linda told Liane as they continued towards Eric’s room. 

“You know boys, they always are forgetting such important things!” Liane agreed, pulling Eric’s bedroom door open.

Linda’s mouth dropped.

“Uh, hi mom.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I've started working on my next fic but I am still taking requests if people have ideas of things they would like to see. Also please leave a kudos if you enjoyed!


	8. The Stotches Part 2

It wasn’t like Cartman was scared of Butters parents. 

But.

He did know what they were capable of.

“Oh my god Butters!” Linda basically screeched when she saw the two together, eyes stuck on the dark hickies on both her sons and Eric’s neck.

“Listen mom, um-“

“Butters you get dressed right now and march on home. Do you think your father is going to be okay with this? No he’s not! You are in all sorts of trouble!”

“Yes mom…”

Linda stormed out, followed by Liane who seemed extremely confused at what the problem was. She probably knew what they had been doing, but Liane liked Butters and didn’t seem to have a problem when she found him sleep in Eric’s bed. Linda and Stephen never had liked Eric, ever since the phone call incident in the fourth grade, followed by the time Stephen caught Cartman trying to trick Butters into putting his dick in his mouth. Stephen often said he would be happier if Butters were dead rather than gay, which Butters always assumed was because he was so freaking worried his own sexuality would come into question if people knew his son was gay.   
Cartman was pretty sure Stephen Stotch was gay. In fact, Butters knew he was, but only stayed with Linda due to religious beliefs. Butters knew this was going to be the end of his spend the nights with Cartman.

Upon returning home, Linda wouldn’t even look at Butters, and once Stephen returned, he screamed at Butters until he was out of breath, and then locked Butters in his room without supper, continuing to scream downstairs about what a disappointed their son was. 

Butters honestly was sick of the treatment he received at home. But he was still to young to leave. He couldn’t go live with Eric, he lived next door!

Butters was finally about the drift off around 8:30, letting himself forget about the hunger in his belly. He was just drifting often when he heard a pang at the window. He opened his eyes and glanced up to see Cartman waving his arms franticly. Butters jumped up and opened the window.

“What are you doing?” He hissed quietly, not wanting to get another lecture or possible beating from his parents. His ribs were still sore after all.

“Bringing you supper. I know how your parents are.”

Butters swooned. He was so blessed.

“Do you want me to try and talk to them?”

“Are you crazy? My dad will murder you!”

“Meh, he can’t touch me.” Eric scoffed, before handing over the food to Butters. 

Butters ate quietly on his bed while Eric sat beside him and watched, not really saying much.

“Thanks, you know, for bringing me this.” Butters said with a smile, nudging Eric slightly.

Eric smiled, a slight blush forming on his cheeks. “That’s what good boyfriends do I guess.”

Butters smiled. Maybe his home life would always be shit, but with Eric around he at least had someone who truly cared about his best interest.

**Author's Note:**

> This will be updated frequently. Also I am currently working on several other South Park fanfictions, but if you have a suggestion you'd like me to write about drop me a message!


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